March 27, 2013

Weigh-In Wednesday...


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I'm down another 1.5 lbs from last week. Which brings me to a total of 19.5 lbs lost. And I know that number should make me feel so great about myself but the truth is, it really doesn't. I thought I'd be super happy to have lost almost 20 lbs but I look at that number and can't help but think that I should have been able to do more in three months. And I know its crazy. I know have unrealistic expectations for how fast the weight should come off. I just can't help but feel these things and I want to be completely honest about my weight loss progress

I think the most frustrating thing is that my trip to Vegas is only 18 days away and I am nowhere near where I wanted to be weight wise before I left for Vegas. I wanted to wear a bikini by the pool and shop for new clothes for my new body, but that won't be happening. I don't want to spend a bunch of money on clothes for an in-transition body. I want to get to my goal weight and be able to go on a huge shopping spree for all brand new clothes since none of my clothes will fit anymore

I'm also worried that I'm going to come back from Vegas 10 lbs heavier than when I left and it will be almost like starting back at the beginning. I've never been so afraid to go on a vacation before. Normally I eat and drink as much as I want and then worry about the repercussions when I get home. But I normally haven't already lost almost 20 lbs. And I just can't help but feel like I will get so discouraged if I come back and see a horrible number that I'll just give up completely

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My chances of winning back my $ in Erin's DietBet are slim :( I haven't been able to work out as much or push myself as much at the gym because I've been sick and can barely walk without feeling like my lungs are on fire. I was really hoping I would win BUT I will say that the plus side to trying to win the DietBet, even if I don't end up winning, is that the times I really want to cheat or splurge and eat something ridiculous I keep thinking about trying to win. So even if I don't get my $ back I still got myself to a lower weight than I was before
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I'm heading to the Queen City on Friday morning with some friends from work to do a mini stagette for a co-worker that's getting married in two weeks. She's originally from Nunavut so doesn't have many friends outside of work around here so we wanted to do something for her since she wasn't able to have a stagette with her friends at home. I'm on medication so I won't be able to drink at all very much but I think it will still be a good time. I'm just hoping I can still make good food choices and don't completely blow my very slim chance at winning the DietBet
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I know I said I'd stop whining about being sick but I just had to share this with everyone. I went to the Dr. on Monday and posted all about it here . I had wrote that everyone should cross their fingers for me that the Dr. would do a good job of pleading my case to the ENT and get my surgery bumped up but didn't really expect anything

That very same afternoon I ran downstairs to the basement, leaving my cell phone upstairs in my purse. I came back up to my office two minutes later to see that I had missed a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. I'm not supposed to use my phone during work hours but I just had a feeling that I should check my voicemail. Imagine my surprise when I listen to the message and its from the OR scheduler from the health region I'll be getting the surgery in and they have me placed on an emergent cancellation list and THEY HAVE AN OPENING

I called her back right away and it went to her voicemail. I left my work phone number hoping I'd get a call back.  Five minutes later the phone rings at work and its the OR scheduler. Aaaand they had already managed to fill the spot in the ten minutes between us playing phone tag :( . BUT I now know that I am on the cancellation list so there is hope in the near future. Now I'm just left feeling a little bitter towards my Dr. for not putting me on that list a year ago! I'm gonna ;ook at it glass half full though and just have to hope that I'll get another phone call soon :)

4 comments:

  1. Have fun in Vegas. I know how dangerous that place can be when you are trying to meet a goal. Good luck!

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  2. Yay for the opening! And man the diet bet... Yeah im actually heavier then I was when we started..so FAIL.. But whatevs, I am thinking about joining another one soon.

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  3. I just lost my first diet bet too. It happens.

    One day at a time. You will get there. I promise :-)

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Thanks for the love! If you have a specific question please feel free to email me at krmathison@ hotmail.com